hi everyone, i'm actually home.

this is part of an email i wrote to some people in my family.  it sort of explains what was going on although me coming home is even more complex than what this email makes it out to be.  but yeah im home so if you are call me.

 

 

long story.  Sorry i haven't had a chance to call you yet.  I'm actually at home, safe in NYC.  I'm sure you've heard about the situation or war or whatever you can call it going on in Israel right now.  Well basically, with the family back home worrying, combined with the security risks and the resulting restrictions to group travel, we decided that it just wasn't the right time to be in Israel.  The group is still there now, but they are being held below Jerusalem (That means that they can basically only go to Jerusalem and the desert). 

 

It was a difficult decision.  After having such swelling zionist passion, it was painful to leave Israel basically as an evacuee-- doesn't really seem like a perfect and peaceful safe haven for all Jews.  It was also painful to see that the country didn't really stop moving at all even though so many people were killing and being killed.  As much as it is nice that Israelis can live their lives, it was unfortunate to see that war has simply become an accepted reality in the daily Israeli life.  It was painful to see the immense beauty of the land in contrast with the gross reality of war. 

 

I started to see flaws in the Jewsih state in practice.  So many issues are raised by the split between secular and religious Jews.  Israeli Jews are no less divided, if not more, than Americans.  The idea that someone who would completely identify with being Jewish in America may not be conisdered a Jew under Israeli law disturbed me (for example, someone who had a reform, not orthodox, conversion, or someone whose mother's mother was not jewish).  We also saw the destruction in Lebanon, the implications of the security fence on the Palestinians, and various other small things.  All this was going on while i was coping with the idea of leaving my group to come home.

 

As I sought to justify and rationalize the impending possibility of my parents bringing me home, I also came to terms with a lot of these new observations about Israel.  Israeli democracy is young, and has been built over the last 60 years under the constant threat of invasion by radical enemies with the only goal being the destruction of Israel.  Keeping that in mind, the fact that Israel could create a thriving multiethnic democracy in the first place is amazing in and of itself.  I realized that Israel is the only nation whose supreme court, in a time when war and terrorism threatened its citizens, would rule to change the security fence so that it would no longer withold important services from Palestinians, not out of self interest, but out of a genuine desire to uphold the rule of law. 

 

I also started to think about the nice things that were at home-- my girlfriend, my friends, some down time, the city, the ability to go out and not be toured around in groups of 30.  So after reconciling some issues I had with Israel, i also was able to convince myself that if my parents wanted me home, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever. 

 

And it hasn't been.  I miss my group and wish i could've gotten to know the kids better, but i have a feeling i'll be seeing them throughout the year.  My friends are mostly all in town, New York is still the best city in the world (better than Tel Aviv or Jerusalem), and in some ways it's nice to have nothing to do (except of course, applying to college, which i started this morning).

 

The trip while it lasted was really great.  Asides from me being irritable the last couple of days, the experience was awesome.  I don't know if you remember me telling you about the whole set up of the trip.  Basically we went to gloomy old europe (Prague), saw the holocaust and the sad story of Europe's Jews, then flew to Cyprus, got on a boat, and sailed to Israel.  From the moment we got on the boat in Cyprus, the program was a huge historical reenactment of the Exodus of the Jews out of Europe into Eretz Yisrael.  Everyone got so into it; we sung, we danced, we chanted, we prayed, it was awesome.  The last day, as the shores of Haifa materialized in the distance, mock British warplanes flew over the ship and dropped leaflets saying "Attention Jewish Refugees:  You are violating the mandate of His Majesty's Kingdom in Palestine, turn around or prepare to be sunk... etc etc".  For a history geek like me, this boat probably was the coolest thing ever. 

 

We got to Israel, and everything was picture perfect.  Unfortunately, 2 days later, those fuckers had to capture the two Israeli soliders, and thus started what they refer to as a "balagan" (mess).  I couldn't completley enjoy the rest of my stay in Israel, even though it was beautiful and fun.  Knowing that people were dying, my parents were losing sleep, and that my cousins were in bomb shelters put me in a weird mood.  As I said though, i reconciled most of that and now im just trying to have a good time back home.  So far, so good.